Some people say that a middle child is always the attention seeker, the complainer, the troublemaker and everything else. Well, for the information of everyone, Middle Child Syndrome is real and true. It is a condition being experienced by the middle child. A research done by experts in Stanford University showed that a middle child has difficulty “finding” himself within the family. They easily get envious, they’re not that brave or confident, and “middles” are not very sociable.
But if you look at US Presidents in history, 52% of them are middle children. Well-known personalities like Martin Luther King, Abe Lincoln, Warren Buffett, and Bill Gates are also middles. Does it mean that middle children are great leaders? Yes, they can be and it has been proven. Growing up has never been easy for them. This is the reason why some middle children emerge successfully in their fields because they wanted to prove themselves to their families.
How middle children stand out on their own
Most parents will deny this, but middle children are often neglected. That’s because the baby of the family and the first-born are always the “stars”. They steal away the spotlight from their siblings, unknowingly. The youngest is given much attention because he is small and needs utmost care. For the eldest child, his parents will always treat him well because he is the first born and the favorite. It is usually like that.
With this, the middle child learns to self-soothe and becomes more independent. Their parents are not too strict with them and so, they can get away with little things – this means they can try out stuff and learn new skills. This shapes them up to become great leaders or outstanding people when they get older because nothing bars them from growing and learning. This is one of the positive effects of being a middle child. “middle children are the toughest to pin down because they play off their older sibling,” Dr. Kevin Leman said.
The great things about being a middle child
Middle children are great at negotiating and because they have always been deprived of time and things when they were younger, they learn how to be manipulative – in a good way. They use this to their advantage especially in business. They are relentless, risk-takers, open and willing to try new things. Middle children are also expert thinkers. They tend to argue their way out successfully and if they can’t get what they want, they know how to compromise. “Although it may seem like siblings compete for their parents’ attention and “fusion,” middles who are less fused actually grow up to be healthier, better-adjusted adults.” Katie Davis, PsyD. said
What a middle child needs to improve on
They are sometimes discriminated in the workplace. HR officers don’t hire middle children because they are such and they possess the negative characteristics brought about by their Middle Child Syndrome. These characteristics include low self-esteem, avoiding conflict, and they are very trusting that people take advantage of them. But a middle child can overcome all of this and he or she can be a better version of himself or herself, as long as you’re determined to move on.
Advice for a middle child
– Don’t let your birth order define you. Even if your parents don’t give you much attention, it doesn’t mean they don’t love you.
– Be strong and say NO to people who are taking advantage of you. You must also find the courage to resolve conflicts and face them head on. It must be settled by you.
– Take a risk, but calculate it first. You will be happier and more secure when you do this.
– It’s ok to lose yourself, once in a while. You’re only human. Tip the boat and learn to save yourself when necessary. “Each style takes a different approach to raising children, and can be identified by a number of different characteristics.” Amy Morin, LCSW said.
– If all else fails, seek therapy. It is a life saver.