Therapy Can Help You Recover From A Breakup

Source: pixabay.com

 

Some people go to therapy for almost anything, while others don’t have any idea why they need professional help at all, believing that they’ll feel better through their own means. This is true for those who experienced the pain of going through breakups. Yes, the hurt from a breakup may not be as tough for some people to deal with, but others find it difficult to manage and recover. They seek the help of a therapist simply because although they understand why the relationship had to end, the pain, anger, and unhappiness just seem to disappear. Their broken heart syndrome seems to linger and disrupt their normal day-to-day living.

Phases Of Breakup Recovery

For the past two decades, therapy and counseling have been providing emotional and mental support necessary to recover from a breakup or loss of a loved one. These techniques have given people the tools to manage and survive despite the pain. It’s more than just about seeking and finding another love but also about learning, coping, improving, and growing from the depressing experiences. It is about realizing your worth and attracting happiness and all positivity that you so deserve. As Dr. Chantal Gagnon PhD LMHC often says, “Happy people do things differently. They make their emotional wellbeing a priority and practice daily and weekly habits that help them create joy, happiness and satisfaction in their lives.”

Therapy Stage One

This stage involves healing. People who reach out to a therapist may be at different phases in their journey towards healing. Some may just be at the starting line and are mostly doing a lot of thinking and feeling lonely, hurt, anxious, depressed, insecure, and lost. Others attempt to forget about their pain by numbing themselves or denying the breakup ever happened. They may manifest this by acting angry and violent and may get into binge eating and alcohol or drug abuse. What’s worse is they might jump right into another relationship, leading to what we often call a rebound love (and we know this won’t do us any better!). “Give yourself permission to do some serious emotional healing to become your happiest self and remember, it is a process more than a destination.” Roya R. Rad, MA, PsyD explains. 

It is important that in this initial stage, we internalize how we really feel about the breakup and process the whole experience. Linger on it for a short while. Ask yourself where you went wrong – or if you were wrong in the first place. Recall the relationship and all its aspects. After you do this, tell yourself that you must move on from this part of you. You were only allowed to reflect on the damaged relationship, to grow from the experience, and then move forward.

Source: 943cksy.com

Going through a healthy recovery involves acceptance, forgiveness, and letting go. It’s easy to say but really hard to do, as this is where most people usually get stuck. It’s just so difficult to forget the pain. You will have trouble understanding why you deserve all this anguish and maybe even regret you lost it. Negative behavioral patterns may manifest, all of which they think are helping them but are just prolonging the pain. Remember that your life is special. Decide whether or not you want to move on and live it successfully. If you decide that you value your life and want to move on, then certainly therapy can help you.

Therapy Stage Two

After a breakup, your self-esteem may often be suffering. You feel like you’ve lost a part of yourself as your partner left you for some reason. You may feel that he’s taken that part of you and you’ll never be complete again. The feeling of not knowing one’s identity is still strong. But in stage two, the focus is on repairing your self-esteem and confidence. Eventually, you will not need so much guidance from the therapist, but you will be your coach. This is done so that you will learn to become whole on your own and will successfully regain your life.

Also, in this phase, the therapist will walk you through getting you in a good place where you begin to believe and motivate yourself, love yourself, and being able to value your thoughts and ideas. These are some of the ‘warrior’ characteristics that will help you establish self-love. Soon, you will be capable of letting in the people you think are good for you and get rid of those who are toxic for your new life. Just remember, “When trying to keep a positive attitude, you must avoid people who thrive on negativity.” Fran Walfish, PsyD. says.

Therapy Stage Three

The final stage is where the renovation of your life happens. At this time, you are assumed to be strong, resilient, and possess a self-identity that is as whole as when you were once in love – only that you did it all by yourself. So now you are ready to take on the challenge of knowing what you want out of your new life. What do you want to do? Where do you want to go? You might start by getting a new job or opening a new business that will hone your newly found skills. You can travel and rejuvenate. Or perhaps you can start dating!

Source: pexels.com

Whatever you decide, you have to remember that things will go your way because you are now replenished with energy, strength, and love. Your whole life can change for all you care. The most important realization in this last stage is that you have a great relationship with yourself, and if you love again, you will never allow yourself to break that easily. Everything that happens from here on begins with you!

 

How To Master Emotions And Improve Mental Health

Source: wikimedia.org

 

In psychology, experts believe that the emotional instability of a person is one of the causes of mental illness. That’s because when he encounters a life problem, the way that person reacts to it becomes a more significant impediment of the original thing. Meaning, it consists of a cascade of emotions that catches the individual off-guard. That’s understandable though. Because as human beings, it is reasonable to react and respond to things around us that seem to matter. However, other people forget to realize that some of the life struggles they are facing are only coming from a single perspective. They somehow don’t acknowledge that there are these different views of why a particular issue happens as well as tons of ways to resolve it.

Shift Perspective

Since a lot of individuals believe that an instant reaction is a manifestation of truth, they get themselves caught up in failure and wrong decisions. They believe in their self-made truth, and it becomes their loss. It becomes the reality of the death of their vision of themselves being capable of something. That’s perhaps due to the idea of “being perfect” or at least becoming “better than” someone. But it should never have to be this way. The only possible way to achieve emotional and mental stability is by shifting one’s perspective. There is a need to create a different kind of reaction to things. People need to start looking at problems at different angles to be able to recognize mistakes. From there, the possibility of creating a breakthrough becomes endless. Understand that  “Self-compassion is being gentle with yourself, not beating yourself up over your past decisions, and accepting that you are human and make mistakes.” therapist Kimberly Hershenson, LMSW said.

Source: ggpht.com

Be Bold And Different

Another way to reach emotional education is through noticing the world and how it affects human lives. There is this need for encouragement to become more aware of the things useful for each people’s existence. It is not enough that individuals only know they are not perfect. They have to try hard to always become different and unique without the fear of judgment and humiliation from others. There must be an acceptance of individuality for all to avoid emotional and mental pressure. “The sensation of pressure doesn’t have to be negative—it can be a positive challenge and motivating.” Alicia H. Clark, Psy.D. said. Yes, there are others who will have a hard time accepting it, but people should realize that all of us are worthy in a various way. That no matter what others think of them, it doesn’t matter because they are born to be different.

Choose To Learn

One hindrance of emotional stability is the avoidance of getting hurt. There is this mentality of people that picture “hurt” as something that pulls them down. They keep away from things that make them unhappy and devastated. Yes, it is sometimes a good thing to remove one’s self away from all the stress and anxiety. However, avoiding feeling the inevitable will only make things worse. Instead of trying to distance into the emotional negativity, why not try and embrace it. Learn something from it and use to encourage self-confidence and self-awareness. Getting hurt is part of every life challenges that people will face. But it’s not something that should stop them from being a better version of themselves. People should learn to accept and understand how their emotions contribute to their overall development.

Source: maxpixel.net

Practice Emotional Discipline

“Emotional health plays a critical role in our overall health and life enjoyment.” Agnes M. Boksa, PsyD, LP explained. A lot of individuals find it hard to control their emotions. That’s because they either can’t or don’t want to. They somehow don’t put self restrictions and allow themselves to get affected by their emotional state. As humans, it becomes reasonable to create decisions based on emotions. However, there are a lot of instances that the particular practice is not as effective as what everybody thought. That is because emotions get sometimes used as an excuse for not thinking straight. Not because it is something that people often feel; it becomes a reliable source of critical thinking and decision making. Therefore, people should practice emotional discipline to be able to understand the use of emotions in addressing life struggles.

Life problems are not the issue. It is the way how people look through it. When they finally realize that mistakes, failures, and life struggles exist to teach lessons and instructions, things will become a lot better. And once they get to understand the advantage of mastering emotions, their mental health will also benefit from it.

 

BATTLING STRESS IN LIVING WITH A CHRONIC ILLNESS

Source: pixabay.com

Being told that you have a chronic health condition can be very disorienting. Aside from the confusion, the news may even lead to depression, anxiety, and stress. And instead of going after the probable cure or treatment, most people in such a situation would sulk and then lead to a troubling emotional state. This condition will not help people in their healing process.

Stress has a significant impact on one’s health. It is also a fact that stress can do more harm than good. Examples of stressful situations on top of suffering from a chronic illness are:

  • The stress in which the pain and discomfort of the disease brings
  • The stress of managing the condition and self-care or relief
  • The stress on adjusting to the limitations of the condition on your physical body
  • The stress of managing financial pressures especially now that more money is necessary for the treatment
  • The stress of coping with confusion, frustration, and isolation because of the disease

Stress is pretty much normal in such situations and while it is understandable, will you let it destroy your life? You need to learn to fight back, get the treatment you need, cope and take control of the situation.

Learn To Understand The Condition

Educate yourself with the facts regarding your condition. You can ask your doctors, do your research and talk to people who have the same health ailment. Most importantly, know the factors that may have caused it, the symptoms and the treatment. Being knowledgeable in all these will help you fully understand what you are going through right now.

Aside from the knowledge, you also need to be very observant with your body. Take note of the changes, the situations wherein the condition will start to arise, when it attacks the body and the effects of the said to the body. Make sure that you tell your doctor about your observations and also listen to the recommendations.

Source: pixabay.com

Manage Yourself

Managing yourself throughout the ordeal will be of help in gaining control with your life and improve its quality. Being observant and following your doctor’s recommendation will help you manage your illness and its symptoms. You should have everything tracked down.

Your present lifestyle, your decisions, and your actions will be of help in fighting the stress brought by the illness. Steps should also be taken to manage your emotions, behavior, attitude, and relationship with other people. Whittney Thoman, Senior Exercise Physiologist used to advice that “The more you are active, the more you decrease your risk for chronic diseases, including cancer.”

Emotional Management

The chronic illness all-encompassing nature has its way of ruining one’s plans and even its life. This could bring in a lot of emotions. The emotions are as follows:

  • Anxiety
  • Grief
  • Fear
  • Depression
  • Stress
  • Rage

You need to experiment with managing the stress and with some painful feelings. When you find something that works, you can add it up to your routine. The following are some ideas:

  • Being with loved ones
  • Working out
  • Reading
  • Stretching
  • Cooking
  • Listening to music
  • Cooking
  • Meditation
  • Deep breathing
  • Journal writing

Have a schedule on the stated activities above. It is always recommended that you take some break off your routine and take care of yourself.

Relationship Management

Managing relationships while you have this chronic condition is essential. Fact is, your condition limits you from socializing and that your friends may misinterpret this. “If your intention is to live a meaningful and healthy life, you will make decisions that support this intention, and feel good about yourself when you succeed in this purpose.” Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D. said. Therefore, you needc to focus.

But instead of letting the illness keep you, bear in mind that this should be the case. Instead, find ways to get the life you wanted. Have it planned, get rid of those factors that can add to your stress and go on with your life. Make sure that you bridge yourself to other people.

Source: pixabay.com

Develop Adaptability

Approach and attitude can initiate a difference in one’s life. With the condition you are into right now, it is essential that you learn to adapt with it. Accepting it will also help in developing the ability to survive with the obstacles.

Being adaptive with your new condition enables you to initiate things that will help you get over your condition. It will allow you to develop new traits, skills, and habits that enable you to do problem – solving strategies that you will benefit from. You will far better once you have overcome your challenges.

Conclusion

Chronic illnesses can bring in a lot of stress not only to the affected person but the people around him as well. But learning more about the diseases and the treatments needed will help you a lot. Follow your doctors and try learning other things that can be of help in curing the health issues that you have. Instead of going down with your chronic illness, make some ways to uplift yourself. Having a positive outlook in life will help you get the cure you need. April Lau, LMHC once said, “Learn how to stand up for yourself with compassion for others, deal with stress better, improve your mood, and learn to like yourself.”

 

Improve Yourself, Physically And Mentally

Source: pixabay.com

The only way for you to improve on yourself, both mentally and physically, is to make changes in your life. What are these changes? You need to do the things that you don’t usually do. For others, it can be positive thinking, socializing, learning about arts, or going to therapy. On that note, you can also follow these things:

Value Your Self-Esteem.

How can you value your self-esteem? Stop criticizing yourself and think of good things only. Be optimistic and believe that there’s hope – it’s the only way for you to end unwanted thoughts since negativity can pull your self-esteem down. On things that can enhance your self-regard, you have to do things that you love at least a few minutes each day.

If you love journaling, then, do it. Spend time with your loved one or kids, if you are with the family. You can also find ways to advance in your career like take up additional courses for your added credentials. Whatever you can do to improve yourself positively will also enhance your self-esteem. This is how you value it. In Dr. Nikki Martinez, Psy.D. blog, she says, “If you are struggling with low self-esteem, it is encouraged that you seek some type of help and support to work through this issue, and to help you be the best version of yourself that you can be.”

 

Love Your Body And Mind.

How can you love your body? It’s very simple. Nourish it with healthy foods. You can nourish your mind, as well. For example, when preparing your food, it has to be a well-balanced meal. You can check the internet for suggestions from food experts on how to make affordable but healthy food.

It is also important to steer clear from substances like alcohol and cigarettes. These can hasten the deterioration of your cells, and that is not loving your body and mind. Drink lots of water instead so that you are well-hydrated. It is also advisable to exercise at least 15 minutes each day. A brisk walk around the neighborhood will do, just to start. Lastly, rest, as in total rest at night. “Whether you suffer from seasonal affective disorder or not, the evidence is strong that getting outside just for a little bit can be very helpful,” says Andrea Bonior, PhD, clinical psychologist.

Choose People Who Bring Positivity In Your Life.

Look at the people within your circle. Are they supportive and encouraging? Do they bring positive words and actions to you? If they do, then, these are the people who should be in your life. They will inspire and motivate you to feel better about yourself. That’s what you need. If there are bad influences or toxic relationships, be ready to shut them out completely. Deborah Khoshaba Psy.D used to say, you should “Bring the right people into your life.”

Source: pixabay.com

Help Others.

Volunteer your time and energy to help others. You’ll like accomplishing something substantial to help somebody in need, and it’s another great way to meet new people to develop friendships.

Manage Stress And Pressure.

Like it or not, stress is a part of life. With that, practice and adapt pressures and stress. Try one-minute stress strategies. Do Tai Chi. Work out every day. Go for a nature stroll. Play with your pet or write in your diary. These things can lessen stress and pressure within you.

Additionally, make sure to welcome these adversities with a smile. Research demonstrates that smiling or laughing can help your mind, ease annoyance, loosen up your body and lessen the pressure. As said, exercise can also be a vital way of eliminating and managing stress in your daily lives. Our body is relaxed when we do some kind of sweat-releasing activity.

Calm Your Mind.

Unwinding activities, meditation, and supplication can improve your perspective and point of view. Self-reflection a few minutes each day can make you calm.

Set Realistic Objectives In School Or At Work.

Set what you need to accomplish academically and career-wise. For example, you are still in school. Set your objectives and try to achieve it. Write down your goals and plan out how you are going to reach it.

At Times, Be Spontaneous.

One way to improve yourself is by going out of your comfort zone, healthily. How can you do that? Be spontaneous! Separate yourself from a monotonous schedule and insert activities to liven it up. For example, instead of staying in the office on your 30-minute break, go out to the park and take a stroll.

Source: pixabay.com

Regulate Your Consumption Of Alcohol And Prescription Drugs.

As much as you can, stay away from drinking alcohol and from taking in prescription drugs. These substances contain chemicals that can destroy your mind frame. At times, it can even push you to depression when done in overage and habitually.

Find Your Purpose In Life.

Looking for help is an indication of strength — not a shortcoming. Know that treatment is a good thing. Individuals who get proper treatment can recoup from psychological issues and then, lead them to a more beautiful life.

Everybody has a mission in life, and it’s up to us to find that mission. Don’t be discouraged by problems. Challenges are there so that you can overcome it. In going about the Why’s and How’s, one must learn to improve himself, since this is the only way for us to move forward – if our body and mind are one.

 

Mental Health Curriculum In New York A Mental Health Milestone

A psychotherapist could very well agree that the stigma associated with mental illnesses stands as a barrier which gets in the way of creating social environments that are conducive to recovery. The alarming thing about this reality is as the stigma gets louder, more and more people suffer from mental illnesses in silence.

Source: commons.wikimedia.org

How Widespread Are Mental Illnesses?

The National Institute of Mental Health conducted studies revealing that in the US, about 20% of adults experienced an anxiety disorder in 2017 and around 31% will experience it at some point in their lifetimes. Also, approximately 7% have experienced at least one major depressive episode in their lives. On the other hand, among children, about 23% of more than 10,000 adolescents have been diagnosed with severe mental issues. Still, in other studies, it was discovered that half of the mental illnesses begin at as young as 14 years old, while 75% of mental disorders find their onset at the age of 24.

With the prevalence of mental health issues nowadays especially among children, New York States recent decision to include mental health as part of the curriculum in schools is both timely and essential.

“Mental health is complex, and it would be a lot easier if we were like cars.” – Dr. Mitch Keil, clinical psychologist

What Will Happen In This Curriculum Change?

Source: flickr.com

According to Bill Number A3887B issued by the New York State Assembly, school districts are being called upon to ensure that their health education programs recognize the various dimensions of health and as such, include mental health alongside physical health in health education. A new paragraph is thereby added to the Education Law 504, effective ever since July 1, 2018.

Note that this is a change that will happen across the board. Even kindergartens will get exposure on mental health education at their tender age. According to Kristen Purcell, Assistant Coordinator for Innovative Teaching and Learning at OCM BOCES, mental health education in kindergarten would look like a teacher sitting in the midst of a circle of five and six-year-old toddlers. They will devote portions of the school time just talking about how they feel and what makes them happy, sad, or upset. On the other hand, for high school and college students, instructors will go on a deep dive for a more comprehensive take on the subject matter.

Why The Need For This Change?

Legislators justify this curriculum change as a way to update the New York State law. It keeps public education at par with the recent advancements in the understanding and treatment of mental illnesses. The said law is already 40 years old. It is the right time to make it at pace with the changing times.

“Awareness is the beginning of all change.” – Karla Helbert, LPC, E-RYT, C-IAYT

Source: pixabay.com

The inclusion of mental health topics in the curriculum is also a statement about how people ought to recognize the importance of mental health. It should have as much importance as physical health. State law is practically telling everyone that mental illnesses aren’t as visible as other diseases. However, it does not diminish their intensity and harmful effects. The World Health Organization considers health to be a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being. Mental health is just as significant as other aspects of wellness.

Moreover, teaching mental health to students allows them to be more self-aware. People who are knowledgeable about mental health are more likely to recognize it when they start to feel it. Thus, know when and how to seek help. Understanding of mental diseases also allows them to think through their feelings properly. They do not just dismiss their feelings as fleeting emotions. They tend to be more confident to speak up.

Finally, an initiative from the State to recognize mental health and espouse it in educational institutions is a progressive move. This creates a society that is more embracing of differences in mental states among people. It has a huge role in breaking the stigma against mental illnesses and those who experience it. By teaching the young generation, people with mental health concerns will get both assistance and acceptance.

New York is the first state in the US to require mental health to be a part of education programs. This progress gives us a glimmer of hope. Soon, more states and countries all over the world can also embrace mental health as a social concern. Our educational institutions can adequately address this issue. In no time, we will be able to recreate a society that embraces differences and disabilities. It is possible even at the level that is not visible to the naked eye.

“Mental health struggles are real. They can be painful. You may feel alone. In some of the darkest times, you may feel like something is “wrong” with you to the core.” – Erica Thompson, LMFT, LPCC