Anger is something that every one of us has to deal with in our daily lives. Sometimes, you leave your house without an umbrella and it happens to rain. Sometimes, your boss just won’t give you a break. And sometimes, even the most trivial things get on your nerves. The frustrations of everyday life plague even the best of us. Some people can brush it off and continue to be positive. Others, however, aren’t very good at controlling their anger. Usually, it is said that these people have anger issues.
Dealing with Anger
Know how to calm yourself down.
There are many ways to do this. However, it ultimately depends on you. You have to find out what works and what doesn’t. Some find that counting to ten in their mind helps them calm down. Others say that slowing their breathing is effective. Still, many people prefer visualizing something calming to help them get through their anger. It varies from person to person. What’s important is that you know what works and you stick to it whenever your anger is getting out of hand.
Think before you act.
According to Glenn Goldman, MA, LPC “Anger is not the enemy. It is how we respond to our own anger that can get us into trouble.” Ask yourself, “Why am I angry?” Putting these things into words can help you understand the situation and act accordingly. Once you understand the situation you’re in, consider what you can do and the consequences of each action. For example, if you’re angry because your laptop is malfunctioning, instead of damaging it physically, you could restart it. Perhaps, you could also take it to a person who’s more knowledgeable on how laptops work to get it fixed. Finally, once you’ve laid down your choices, pick the one you feel is the best. By thinking things through, you can avoid making bad choices that you may regret later.
Talk to someone about how you’re feeling.
Do you have a friend whom you trust enough to talk about the anger you’re feeling? If yes, then you could opt to talk to them when you feel like the anger is getting out of hand. Getting all of your frustrations out and knowing that someone is listening to you can be very refreshing. This works even better when your friend knows how to make you feel less angry.
Consider getting anger management counseling.
“Mindfulness for Anger Management puts mindfulness into action with transformative skills and real strategies for overcoming anger and taking control of powerful emotions.” Stephen Dansiger PsyD MFT expresses. If you feel like your anger is getting a bit out of hand, perhaps it would be best to seek the help of a professional. This is nothing to be ashamed of. Recognizing that you have an anger problem and seeking help is a step towards the right direction. The counselors can help you identify the triggers or catalysts that cause your anger and teach you how to respond to them in a non-aggressive way—effectively showing you how to manage them.
Why Controlling Anger is Important?
“Anger is typically an attempt to control the actions or behaviors of others to get our needs and wants met by others. Anger is the result of frustration when you do not get what you need, want, or expect from life or others. Anger is essentially a control tactic” Ben Martin, Psy.D. said. The potential for anger doesn’t really go away. Since we can’t get rid of anger always, it’s important that we’re able to control it. If your anger gets out of hand, you could end up hurting yourself or others. Uncontrollable anger can also be detrimental to your mental health. It can cloud your judgment and make it very difficult for you to focus. It can also be bad for your work environment and the relationships you have. Your clients, co-workers, friends, and all the other people you interact with may grow distant or lose respect for you. This, in turn, will make it difficult for you to move forward in your career or build long and lasting friendships.